Unplugged

It's early on a Friday morning and I'm wide awake. My oldest woke up with a bad dream about an hour ago, and after I got her back to sleep I found that I couldn't put myself back to bed. The plight of many a parent, I suspect.

I laid in my bed for a while trying to will myself back to dreamland. I tried to clear my brain, to meditate, to relax, but I just was not doing the best job of it. I thought about opening up my phone to check the news and the weather, and even contemplated logging onto Facebook, but didn't. I actually had gotten away from using social media recently and finally deactivated my accounts because I just decided it was sucking my time and attention from the things that mattered most to me; namely my kids. Again, a plight of many a parent, I suspect.

Yesterday I went to my oldest daughter's school for a Thanksgiving Feast that the PTO put on. It was a really nice event, and also quite a madhouse with all of the parents and tiny siblings cycling through the cafeteria and the gymnasium for the festivities. My younger two were super excited about going and were ready to go straight to the cafeteria, but I told them we had to wait for their sister's class to come out first.

While we waited for the Kindergarteners, the girls and I talked and played and they took turns sitting on my shoulders for a "better view." At times my youngest was super fidgety and whiny, as are most two year olds, but once I distracted her with a new silly face or game she was fine. As I stood there being silly and waiting for my oldest to come around the corner, I couldn't help but notice the all-too-familiar site of everyone waiting, their faces glued to their phones.

Look, I've done it too. Sitting in a waiting room at the doctors office, waiting for your car to be done at the dealership, standing in line at a coffee shop; checking your emails or reading a quick article is a super easy way to entertain yourself when you're bored. On top of that, add things like Twitter, Instagram, Reddit and Facebook, and you constantly are thinking to yourself: "I'll just check and see what's going on really quick." Thirty minutes later (at least), after you come out of the social media rabbit hole, you look around and go: "Holy shit! Where am I?" And what's particularly bad - for me - is when you're spending time on social media when you could be doing something more productive, like: tidying up the house, playing with the kids, reading a book, sweeping off the back porch, or just sitting outside and letting the kids run around and listening to nature. Sometimes we just have to be unplugged to remember what it's like to just be.

If I had been waiting in that hallway without my younger kids, I probably would have opened up my phone and read some news too. I don't fault anyone for utilizing the amazing technology and information we have at our fingertips these days, but I think we find ourselves wanting to be entertained at every moment because it's been so long since we've been without a means to constantly do so. And now I find myself in the situation, as a parent, where my actions and habits are being constantly watched and emulated by my kids. So, when I say to them: "just sit and be patient and entertain yourself," if I'm showing them that the only way to stimulate your brain is to stare at a phone, what kind of message am I sending?

So, lately, I've been spending more time outside, more time telling stories and playing games, and more time organizing areas of my house (and my life) that had gotten a bit untidy. I want my girls to know that it's okay to just sit in a car and stare out the window and daydream. That the best stories aren't always the ones in a book, but the one's you create for yourself when you're imagining where you could go and who you could be. And that the best shows on earth are being played out in nature and the physical world around us, not on a television show or via social media. I want my daughters to know all of this so they can know who they are and how to just be.