She Is

She cries in the night and I wake.

I throw my legs over the side of the bed and pad quietly across the floor, through the living room, down the hall.

I open her door and see her face, twisted by the bad dream she is in.

I kneel down by her little bed and place one hand on her chest and the other on her face.

“Shhhhh,” I whisper. “It’s okay.”

She stops whimpering and her face relaxes. I keep my hands on her little body.

“Mommy,” she sighs, her eyes still closed. “Snuggle me.”

I crawl into the tiny bed, draped in a pink blanket with a castle and frog on it.

I lay my head on the pillow labeled PRINCESS, and she turns into my chest and drapes her little arm across mine, her delicate nose pressed against my neck, her little forehead resting on my chin.

I kiss her head and smell the watermelon shampoo.

Even in the dim glow of the room’s nightlight, her hair is golden; bleached by the sun and chlorine of summer days at the pool.

It falls across the pillow and down her back, over her shoulder, against her collarbone, and ends in a loose wave against the ruffle of her nightgown.

Her little face is soft and relaxed, and she looks every bit the PRINCESS that her pillow claims to be.

I brush the tendril of golden hair away from her throat, and kiss her gently on the cheek.

“Sweet dreams my little September baby,” I tell her in a hushed voice.

She seems to nod her head, and I crawl back out of the little space I’ve occupied for these few, brief minutes in the middle of the night.

I open the door and stand in its frame for a few more moments, taking in the sweet serenity of my child while she slumbers.

Here, in the darkest hours of the morning, I stare at this little marvel.

She is pure and sweet. She is joy and wonder. But mostly…most importantly…she is my light.

~ Erica Day McCarthy - 22 July 2019 - 2:00 am - San Antonio, TX ~

The View from St. Mary's Street

The sky's been gray and so has my heart.

The rain keeps coming and I think it will wash everything away,
but instead it just leaves everything muddy.

When it dries, little water spots cover my windows,
and turn my once clear view into a splotchy, blotted mess.

You've been away for months,
and what once was is different now.

This new normal of mine isn't normal at all,
and I don't know if I'll ever know it again.

But maybe that's the thing,
maybe it's always changing.

Sometimes we change with it,
sometimes we don't.

It's easy to remember the clear view of youth,
before all the rain and wind and hail and snow came.

Spring is here and winter is gone.

I'll wash the windows and wipe away the grime,
no need to complain about the rain.

The rain will always come and go,
the spots will only stay if you let them.

Normal is the moment and what you make of it.

Neither new nor old,
just here and now.

What I want.

What it can be.

© Erica Day McCarthy, San Antonio, Texas - 2 May 2019

A Mother's Lamentations

I screamed and she looked at me with wide eyes like I was a monster, and I felt like one;
Then her eyes turned fierce and she screamed back, her chin jutted, her jaw cocked.
We stared at one another, angry and confused and shocked and sad;
We both cried, and held each other, and promised to not do it again....
But youth and motherhood are at odds with each other often;
And the fatigue from long days, long weeks, long months can build up;
And whether it's two months, two weeks, or two days, it happens again.

At night I sat and grieved my response, my actions;
I told myself what I needed to do, how I needed to be;
I remembered my childhood, I remembered my parents, I remembered not understanding....
And now I get it all.
And even though it is normal - sometimes we have to cut ourselves a break,
We still hate ourselves for failing - failing us and failing them.

They'll never understand until they're older;
How much we cried, how much we hurt, how much we loved;
But I know tomorrow morning she'll awake and come to me.
She'll crawl into my lap like a little cat, and I'll wrap her up so tight;
She'll kiss my cheek and I'll kiss hers, and she'll look up at my face;
And in my eyes I hope she sees all the love in the world pouring out and over her.

© Erica Day McCarthy, San Antonio, Texas - 26 February 2019

The Words We Say...

My oldest daughter walked off the school bus today and there was no smile on her face, no spring in her step, no silly antics to be had. Her day at school hadn't gone as she had hoped because a "friend" of hers had said some things to her and goaded her into doing something that she got reprimanded for. This isn't the first time this "friend" had made her feel a little lousy, and having been a young, school-aged girl, once upon a time ago, myself - I can remember all of this well:
The ultimatums for friendship - "If you don't (fill in the blank), I'm not going to be your friend."
The fibs and absurd pronouncements - "I know you're actually adopted because you don't look like your Mom."
The general bullying - "Do (this), or you can't come to my party."
All of it just SUCKS, and as a parent it SUCKS just as much.

Your parents always told you the same lines growing up that mine did, I assume:
"It hurts me, just as much as you, to punish you."
"I know it's hard to understand, but in the long run this isn't a big deal."
"Friends will come, and friends will go, but family is forever."

All true. All things I find myself saying. And all a load of BS to the kid dealing with being a kid in the moment.

As a parent you just want to fix everything and make the world and the people in it better for them. You want them to understand things as if they are in graduate school, when they're only five. And even though you know you can't fix it all and they don't grasp the multi-faceted, psychological layers of what is going on, you still try. First you try to commiserate by offering a story from your youth, and then you try to explain why this happens, and then you try to have them internalize it....and by the end of the 15 minute diatribe you just went on, you realize you lost them and they just want to play Pokémon Go! So you go play Pokémon Go, and take the kids out for ice cream, and 30 minutes later you're all laughing about how silly Bewear's are, and discussing the benefits of water and fire type Pokémon.

The whole thing reminded me of so many similar car-rides with my Mom when I was in elementary, and middle, and high school. All of the advice she would try to give me, all of the love she hoped I realized I had, and all of the happiness she just wanted for me. I drove back home and started getting a little choked up realizing how much we don't appreciate our parents sometimes. Because it wasn't just my Mom, my Dad did the same for me in his own way too. It's what parents do, and it's what we don't appreciate in our youth, and even as we get older and become adults. We get so used to rolling our eyes and disregarding their advice when we are younger, that even when we get older and can start appreciating some of their wisdom, we still think we know what's best. And believe me, parents don't always know what's best either! I can attest to the fact that even though I am in the infancy of trying to guide my young little padawans, I still find myself struggling with the right words and sentiments in explaining things, and often crossing my fingers and saying a prayer that I didn't "F" stuff up too much! But I also see how hard this is and have a truly different appreciation for how thankless being a parent really is.

If my Mom hadn't been on the clock, I would have called her immediately right then and told her how much I loved her and how hard I know it must have been being a divorced Mom with a teenage daughter who thought she knew everything back then (and still might act like that at times, even now). And that's when I really let loose with the water works. I started thinking about all of our conversations and all of the advice she'd ever given me, all of the assurances, all of the unending support (no matter what), all of it coming from a place of hope and love and wanting the best for me, and how many times I would give it lip-service but never actually heed it or just appreciate it. And I thought about how brusque I could be at times with her; how harsh and bitter and cold I could play something off, all because I didn't want to acknowledge something that I didn't want to feel.

In life we all can behave like this, and unfortunately we always do it to the people we love the most and who love us the most because we know, usually, they're not going anywhere. The words we say to the people we are the most honest with, the most ourselves with, can often be the most stinging and barbarous.

Last month I wrote about Stoicism and quoted Seneca from his work On the Brevity of Life. In the stanza I cited is the line: "How many have laid waste to your life when you weren't aware of what you were losing?" The line is harsh and real. But it's not just about being aware of how we are affected by such transgressions, it also makes you pause to think about what you have made others lose. Sometimes our actions take away what may seemingly be just a modicum of "grief...joy...desire...amusement," but which adds up to a fair sum in total when we keep doing it without being aware. And sometimes we take away much more from others than we ever meant to because we were foolhardy or insensitive to situations. Whatever the case, we're all guilty and we all have different ways of acknowledging and dealing with those realities, and at the end of the day I'm sure we all wish we could give those things back to the people we cared about; to let our parents, and the ones we love most, know we are sorry for all of the pain and grief we have put them through.

It's food for thought as I push forward on this journey that is parenthood; mindful of my own shortcomings, and aware that my children will have their own, too. But no matter what their faults, and no matter mine, I will be mindful to always remember, to always love, to always pause, and to always reflect carefully on the words I say and the actions I chose.

Finding Center

A couple of months ago our family took a trip to the local Costco. Years ago, after we first got married, the hubby and I had a membership to a Sam's Club back in Missouri, which I wrote a post about way back then. Since then (7 years ago), we've moved to five different states, and haven't always been in a city with a warehouse magnate. So we just decided to forego the idea. Recently, however, we had a discussion about how it would probably be a smart investment, now that we have a small-sized clan that goes through toilet paper, paper towels, cereal, milk, fruit, etc, at a dizzying rate. So, once a month I take my littlest partner in crime with me and we head to Costco to stock up on all of the things we need in mass quantity, or can get for a way more economical price.

My Mom will always tell me about everything that is wonderful about Costco. That's where she works part-time, now that she's retired. I used to laugh and tell her she was easily brainwashed by the company, but then I got the membership and I totally get it. Costco is fantastic! And I have to say - based on what she tells me - the pay is pretty good ($12-20/hr), the benefits and perks are pretty awesome (discounts, travel packages, vacation time), and they have a solid health insurance package. I feel like I'm my mother these days, touting how I don't know what I was doing without this place in my life prior to this!

Today, as I made my way through the brightly lit warehouse, on my mission to secure my list of stocking items, I looked at the rows and rows of neatly organized shelves. Everything is always dressed right and lined up, and there's something inherently pleasing and desirous about extremely tidy and neat things. I like things when they are in their place, but that doesn't mean the shelves in my pantry at home are so neat, or that the thoughts and emotions in my own head are always in order...far from it.

Life is an exercise in taking in what's around us (physically and mentally), making sense of it, and then organizing all of it in our own personal space and mind. Sometimes we think we have everything sorted and put on proper shelves. Sometimes we open up our own proverbial warehouses and realize there is nothing but chaos. And sometimes our lives are a combination of both; tidy and seemingly in working order, but messy and cluttered when you start opening all of the drawers.

So the task I have for myself, and for anyone reading, is to recognize where the items of life are properly placed, and where they are not. Let's organize the personal space we occupy and the mind in which we live, so that when we step back and look at everything we can feel calm. Life can get messy and disorganized, so take a moment to take a deep breath, tackle the clutter bit by bit, and order your space and mind so you can find your center.

Bit by bit, organize personal spaces...

…and declutter your mind.

In the Moment

My dear friend gifted me a wonderful book for Christmas this year....

Yes, that's a pillar candle with Christopher Walken in Saint robes! 

If you're ever in San Antonio, check out the shop Leighelena at The Pearl to get one!

I've been reading it daily, and it's been a great catalyst for personal introspection and external acceptance of the world around me.

For those not familiar with stoic philosophy, it's pretty much accepting the world around you for what it is and understanding that aside from your own personal choices, you can't control outside factors and environs. 

Wikipedia aptly explains it as such:

"According to its teachings, as social beings, the path to happiness for humans is found in accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing oneself to be controlled by the desire for pleasure or fear of pain, by using one's mind to understand the world and to do one's part in nature's plan, and by working together and treating others fairly and justly."

In a world in which we often get angered and frustrated by the milieu around us every day, stoicism tells us to relax and be mindful. 

I last wrote nearly two months ago, prior to receiving this book. In that post, and some of my earlier posts, I tried to wrap my reflections on life around an idea that I was forming. It's funny how the core of what I was trying to explain was really, idealistically stoic.

I think we often forget that our "modern" problems aren't new at all. People have been dealing with issues for millenia. Pain, joy, angst, love, hate, lust, loathing, laziness, idolatry, gossip....all of these things and more.

One of my favorite passages that I have read so far from the book is this:

"How many have laid waste to your life when you weren't aware of what you were losing, how much was wasted in pointless grief, foolish joy, greedy desire, and social amusements - how little of your own was left to you."

-Seneca, On the Brevity of Life, 3.3b

I wanted to share all of this because I feel like it has helped me to gain some perspective so far this year. My goal is to be constantly mindful and aware; to remember what I can influence, and what I cannot, and to find happiness where it exists. Despite the ugliness and pain that is constant in this world, there is also beauty and joy. I hear it in the song of a blue jay flitting in the trees. I see it in the sunlight when it rises every morning. I feel it in my heart when my daughters wrap their hands around mine and lay their heads on my chest. 

Find the beauty in each day. Find happiness as it makes itself known to you. Don't be consumed by fear and pain and the unknown. Live in the moment and be mindful. And to quote my generation's most beloved stoics, Bill and Ted..."Be excellent to eachother!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________

References:

Stoicism - Wikipedia

Holiday, Ryan. The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perserverance, and the Art of Living. New York: Portfolio/Penguin, 2016. Print.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

An Impromptu Reminder

I was tidying up the house today, and trying to make sense of how much laundry my family generates, when I stumbled over a bag on the floor and into the office chair sitting in front of our family desk. I almost got back up immediately, but the chair was so comfortable, and I'd been up since the ass crack of dawn today (pardon the language), so I decided to just stay. As I sunk back into the faux leather upholstery, I swiveled the chair around and looked fondly at the computer sitting on our old, dusty desk.

"Hello, old friend," I said to the PC. "It's been awhile."

So, I stood up, started a cup of coffee, turned on the old desktop, and here I am.

I've actually been writing, just not on this blog. I started a rough draft of a children's story and have also been working through a short story that I may/may not try to publish in a literary review somewhere down the road. Most of the writing I've been doing lately is purely creative and fun and really just for me. I find the best writing we do is often for ourselves, and not when we're trying to meet a demand that we suspect others may have (even on a barely-heard-of blog). And like most things it's a lesson that applies to life in general: 'Don't do something because you think it will please others, do something because it pleases yourself and makes you a better person.'

Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking on that subject - "What pleases me?" I stopped watching mindless TV shows. I got off social media. I stopped saying 'Yes!' to pop-up social events, and decided to just be me. I started re-reading one of my favorite book series (Outlander). I started working out more (and FINALLY got a membership to the YMCA). I started being mindful of everything around me, and being present in the here and now.

My husband returned from a work trip to Belize a few weeks ago and he brought back beautiful pictures and stories and told me we totally need to go to this amazing eco-tourism resort near some of the Mayan ruins and part of a conservation establishment that protects nearly 30,000 acres of wilderness in the Western part of Belize. After looking through my hubby's pictures and the Chan Chich Resort website, I'm totally ready to grab a backpack and head on down!

I actually was a Cultural/Political Geography major when I was in college, and my focus of study was on Latin America. My senior year symposium and thesis was on the discovery and conquest of Mexico and the anthropological impact it had on the native populations and their descendants. I hadn't thought about that thesis in years. But seeing the pictures of the Mayan ruins at Caracol completely rejuvenated a part of me that used to yearn to understand why we function in the societies that we do because of the physical and human geographical components of the land and cultures around us.

I used to be interesting. I used to have lengthy discussions at cocktail parties and talk about geopolitics and hegemonic stability and the impending downfall of our nation, using cogent arguments and historical examples. Then I became a Mom and started talking about which car seat was best, the benefits of breast milk and if home-schooling was the right option or not. Now, I'm not saying that those topics and Mom-hood aren't important - they are! But it's easy to lose sight of yourself sometimes if you allow it to happen; if you allow yourself to be consumed by little things that may seem big at the moment, but in the grand scheme of things are just a portion of what truly matters and what truly makes you happy.

We are complex animals, us humans. We try to act simple and say simple things sometimes, but our brains will always deny us. We are constantly asking questions and wanting to understand things. We yearn to explore new places and find greatness. But we are also inherently lazy, if allowed. And sometimes the worst way in which we are lazy is when we stop looking inward and asking more from ourselves because it's easy not to.

So, I ask you, my few followers: "What pleases you? Really and truly?" Go out and find it. Expand yourself. Challenge yourself. Remember that you are interesting.


** Top four pictures, courtesy of M.M. McCarthy. Bottom two pictures, courtesy the Chan Chich Resort website: https://www.chanchich.com/the-lodge/ **

Unplugged

It's early on a Friday morning and I'm wide awake. My oldest woke up with a bad dream about an hour ago, and after I got her back to sleep I found that I couldn't put myself back to bed. The plight of many a parent, I suspect.

I laid in my bed for a while trying to will myself back to dreamland. I tried to clear my brain, to meditate, to relax, but I just was not doing the best job of it. I thought about opening up my phone to check the news and the weather, and even contemplated logging onto Facebook, but didn't. I actually had gotten away from using social media recently and finally deactivated my accounts because I just decided it was sucking my time and attention from the things that mattered most to me; namely my kids. Again, a plight of many a parent, I suspect.

Yesterday I went to my oldest daughter's school for a Thanksgiving Feast that the PTO put on. It was a really nice event, and also quite a madhouse with all of the parents and tiny siblings cycling through the cafeteria and the gymnasium for the festivities. My younger two were super excited about going and were ready to go straight to the cafeteria, but I told them we had to wait for their sister's class to come out first.

While we waited for the Kindergarteners, the girls and I talked and played and they took turns sitting on my shoulders for a "better view." At times my youngest was super fidgety and whiny, as are most two year olds, but once I distracted her with a new silly face or game she was fine. As I stood there being silly and waiting for my oldest to come around the corner, I couldn't help but notice the all-too-familiar site of everyone waiting, their faces glued to their phones.

Look, I've done it too. Sitting in a waiting room at the doctors office, waiting for your car to be done at the dealership, standing in line at a coffee shop; checking your emails or reading a quick article is a super easy way to entertain yourself when you're bored. On top of that, add things like Twitter, Instagram, Reddit and Facebook, and you constantly are thinking to yourself: "I'll just check and see what's going on really quick." Thirty minutes later (at least), after you come out of the social media rabbit hole, you look around and go: "Holy shit! Where am I?" And what's particularly bad - for me - is when you're spending time on social media when you could be doing something more productive, like: tidying up the house, playing with the kids, reading a book, sweeping off the back porch, or just sitting outside and letting the kids run around and listening to nature. Sometimes we just have to be unplugged to remember what it's like to just be.

If I had been waiting in that hallway without my younger kids, I probably would have opened up my phone and read some news too. I don't fault anyone for utilizing the amazing technology and information we have at our fingertips these days, but I think we find ourselves wanting to be entertained at every moment because it's been so long since we've been without a means to constantly do so. And now I find myself in the situation, as a parent, where my actions and habits are being constantly watched and emulated by my kids. So, when I say to them: "just sit and be patient and entertain yourself," if I'm showing them that the only way to stimulate your brain is to stare at a phone, what kind of message am I sending?

So, lately, I've been spending more time outside, more time telling stories and playing games, and more time organizing areas of my house (and my life) that had gotten a bit untidy. I want my girls to know that it's okay to just sit in a car and stare out the window and daydream. That the best stories aren't always the ones in a book, but the one's you create for yourself when you're imagining where you could go and who you could be. And that the best shows on earth are being played out in nature and the physical world around us, not on a television show or via social media. I want my daughters to know all of this so they can know who they are and how to just be.

Habits and Halloween

My Mom came to town this past week. It was a nice visit. She came in on Monday and left early this morning and got to spend lots of time with the girls. Unfortunately, it rained for almost her entire visit, so all of our outdoor plans - going to the Zoo, the Botanical Gardens, the Missions - were kyboshed! We ended up doing lots of crafts, eating out a lot, and hitting up the mall.

Mom visits, for me, are always nice because all of a sudden you have these extra set of hands that help you get everything done around the house, along with the added bonus of a totally trustworthy babysitter. There's something wonderful about going to unload your dishwasher and realizing it's been done for you, or opening the dryer and finding it empty and discovering a folded basket of laundry on the foot of your bed. And being able to run out during naptime to do an errand on your own is totally magical. I mean, I love the girls, but when you have multiple children not yet fully school-aged, having some free time during the day is like a rare, double rainbow sighting!

Now my Mom is gone and I'm getting back into my routine. As much as I loved having her here and all her help, I also love getting back into the groove with the family. It's crazy how quickly routines and schedules and habits can be altered by something as simple as a short visit. Having someone help with chores is super nice, but it's far too easy to start getting lax with your own responsibilities and get into a bad habit in a short period of time. And like most things in life, good habits are hard to start and easy to break, but bad habits are easy to form and hard to stop.

So, time to get back on the good habit track! No more lunches out and dinners ordered in. No more sleeping in and not waking up to work out. No more eating a bag of Doritos and watching horror movies into the late night...we'll make it popcorn instead and try to start the movie before 9:00 pm!

And, speaking of horror flicks, if you haven't watched any yet this month, it's time to get on it! Halloween is next week and there's only one more weekend and a few days to finish the month on a spectacularly, spooky note! If you need any helpful hints for what to watch (if you care), here's a list of my faves:

Erica's Top 10 Halloween Flicks

10. Ghostbusters (1984)

9. Tremors (1990)

8. Halloween (1978)

7. Young Frankenstein (1974)

6. Scream (1996)

5. Psycho (1960)

4. The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

3. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

2. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

1. Alien (1979)

Chili for a Chilly Day

Autumn has arrived in Texas, and man did it come out of left field! On Sunday it was in the low 80's, and on Monday it dropped to the high 40's. And although it was drastic and quick, I've been embracing the crisp temperatures and non-humid air.

When I lived up North I always longed for September because I knew by the end of the month I would be wearing jeans and sweaters, drinking pumpkin spice lattes and feeling the brisk sting of the cool wind on my cheeks during an afternoon walk. In the South, however, sometimes you have to wait all the way to November before you can put on leggings and tunics and feel justified in buying a maple pecan latte. So, needless to say, I'm pretty pumped I only had to get halfway through October before I could warrant pulling out all of my autumnal decorations and my big chili pot.

Nothing tastes quite as good as a hearty bowl of chili on a cool, fall day. And whipping up a pot for a tailgate, or right before your weekend viewing of your favorite college or pro game, makes it even better.

So, if you're looking for a new twist to your old chili, let me go ahead and share my go-to, crowd-pleasing, would-definitely-win-a-blue-ribbon-if-I-entered-it-in-a-chili-cookoff recipe!

Erica's Amazing Turkey-Chorizo Chili

Ingredients:

1lb ground turkey, 85% fat (the fattier the better)
1lb ground chorizo
1 small onion, yellow or white, chopped
1 bell pepper (any color), chopped
1 can black beans
2 diced tomatoes -or- 1 can diced tomatoes with liquid
1 small can of green chiles, diced
1 packet of Tex-Mex or Texas Blend chili seasoning
2 tbsp. EVOO

Directions:

In a large pot or dutch oven, warm EVOO over medium-high heat. Add the turkey and chorizo, frequently breaking the meat up with a wooden spoon or my secret weapon - the potato masher!

While the meat is browning, chop up and dice the veggies. I was lucky enough to have my sous chef in the kitchen with me on the evening I was cooking the chili, who was happy to do the task for me!

Once the meat is browned, remove from the pan and drain the fat. Add a little more EVOO to the pot and then add the vegetables. Saute until just softened and translucent. Then return the meat to the pot and add the tomatoes, green chiles, black beans and seasoning packet. Stir to combine. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. 

Let cook over low heat for at least half an hour - which is the perfect amount of time to make some cornbread to serve alongside. I used Krusteaz Fire Roasted Cornbread and made the muffins in a madeline pan because I never really have any other use for the pan, and they're the perfect size!

When ready, serve big portions of chili in your favorite bowls, accompanied by the cornbread, and topped with anything that suits your fancy - sour cream, grated cheese, jalapeños, and/or diced onion.

Enjoy! And if you ever enter this in a chili cookoff, make sure to let me know if it wins!

What's for Dinner?

It's been a while since I posted a foodie blog. I have a ton of pictures of dinners I've been making that I keep meaning to share on here, but life has been busy - as I'm sure you can all relate to - and cataloging recipes has been at the bottom of my to-do list.

Once upon a time I used to love taking my time in the kitchen and getting lost in cooking while I sipped leisurely on a glass of wine and listened to Edith Piaf on my iTunes. Then I had kids. Gone were the days of making Beef Bourignon for three hours or savoring a glass of wine while waltzing around the kitchen to French music. These days I'm lucky if my kids don't barge into the kitchen, run through the galley, or throw a projectile from the playroom at me while I'm trying to get dinner together. I listen to old school rock or alternative licks because the beat keeps me up-tempo while I throw my thirty minute delicacy together.

So I went back through my pics and figured I would start with a recipe that is super easy and delicious, surprisingly quick (don't let the list of ingredients fool you!), and totally filling:

Carne Asada with Beans, Rice and Greens

Marinade & Steak:

1/3 cup soy sauce

1/3 extra virgin olive oil

1/3 cup lime juice

1/4 cup orange juice

1/4 cup lemon juice

3 cloves garlic minced (or 1 big tbsp. of jarred minced garlic)

1 tbsp. cumin

1 tbsp. chile powder

1 tbsp. Goya Recaito (culantro cooking base) - in the international food aisle

1 tsp oregano

1 tsp cracked pepper

2 lbs flank or sirloin steak (pounded to 1/4 in thickness)

Place steak in a shallow rimmed dish. Combine liquids together and then add all dry herbs and recaito. Whisk together and pour over steak. Cover with cling wrap and refrigerate. Marinate at least 6 hours, preferably overnight, turning once halfway through marinating.

When ready to cook, lightly oil outside grill and heat to medium-high. Cook steak for about 5 minutes on each side for medium rare. 

Black Beans:

1 can (15 oz) black beans, drained and rinsed

1/4 cup pico de gallo

1 tbsp. hot sauce (I prefer Cholula or Franks)

Salt to taste

Combine all ingredients in a medium pot and bring to a simmer on the stove over medium heat. 

Plate:

1 cup cooked white rice (I prefer Basmati)

1 bag mixed green salad of choice 

1 cup guacamole

1 cup pico de gallo

1/4 cup chopped cilantro

1 lime, wedged

Carne Asada 

Black Beans

Chop up steak into bite size pieces and portion the carne asada, black beans, rice, salad, guacamole and pico de gallo on plate or bowl. Garnish with cilantro and lime (lots of lime!). Eat each section separately, or mix it all together for pure, unadulterated, heavenly deliciousness!

Serves 4 adults or 2 adults and 3 small children :)

Bon apetit!

The Pearl and The Riverwalk North

Well, it's been an interesting week. I went out and about on a little expedition with my littlest last Wednesday to two of my favorite "stroller cruising" venues in the city, and the next day was racked out with the flu. The following day my hubby got struck. Friday night my littlest got it. And last night it struck my eldest. I'm officially over flu season, and it's just started. 

Of course it was a long weekend where we had plans to do a multitude of things with friends and the kids, to include a BYOB paint night, the Khabib vs. McGregor fight, and wandering the hill country at a pumpkin patch. All of those things got eighty-sixed, except the UFC fight, which the hubby and I watched late Saturday night thanks to Twitch, and which didn't disappoint with its post-bout debacle!

So, finally the long weekend is over, as is the plague on our house....I hope! Why do sicknesses always seem to come on days off/vacations/important events? 

Anyways....as I mentioned earlier, I was able to get out and do some exploring last week with "L" before we got sidelined, and got some great photos of a few of my favorite places to take family and friends when they come to San Antonio:

The Pearl

and

The Riverwalk

While the Riverwalk extends for miles along the course of the San Antonio River's journey through the city - starting in the north near the University of the Incarnate Word, and going as far south as Mission Espada - I love walking its northern course. The sidewalks are wide enough for strollers and joggers to share space, the landscape and architecture of its old buildings and museums are beautiful, and there are cool art "spaces" along the route, as well. And while you're walking the northern boulevards of the rio, you can hop off at any time and explore cool sites like The Pearl.

Originally part of the old San Antonio Brewing Assn. and Lone Star Brewery Complex, which operated between 1883-2001 in San Antonio, The Pearl was repurposed and converted into a "mixed-use" retail, restaurant, hotel and entertainment venue for the city around 2009. It's home to tons of quaint boutiques, the third satellite location of the Culinary Institute of America, cute restaurants and lots of green space. It's where all the hipsters hang out every weekend at the city's farmers market, so you know it's cool...(I'm totally raising my eyebrows sardonically while I write that last line). Alas, though, it truly is cool and I love walking the paseos of the old brewery and checking out the shops, the eateries, and the way they totally repurposed everything, to include old mechanical components which now serve as installation art. 

If you haven't been in a while, there's always something going on there, and the vibe is always friendly. And if you ever plan on visiting San Antonio, it's a must for things to see and do in the city!

A Walk in the Garden

Things seem to finally be settling into a routine now that the school year has started. My oldest is in Kindergarten, my middle is in preschool, and the youngest is loving having Mommy to herself for three hours every morning - and so am I.

Truthfully, my middle child, "C," got the raw end of the deal - as is par for the course - because there was always another sibling vying for my time and attention. Once my oldest was in preschool, "C" got some one-on-one time for a bit, but then little sister arrived. And even though I feel bad about that sometimes, I also see all of the benefits of having bookend siblings:

• Isn't afraid to stick up for herself
• Knows what she wants
• Easy to talk to
• Plays well with others (most of the time)
• Extremely outgoing
• Loves to make friends

My youngest, "L," shares a lot of the same attributes, but she's also my most spirited and free child in a lot of ways. She loves to learn and explore, and so do I. So this week I decided to re-energize an aspect of this blog from it's former life and go exploring, with "L" at my side. I've decided to make it a weekly occurrence, and this week I chose to hit up one of my favorite spots here in the city: 

The San Antonio Botanical Gardens

It's a favorite of mine because it offers so many awesome features, and it's also pretty much in my back yard! But proximity aside, it's just fantastic on so many levels. There are so many beautiful gardens, conservatories and areas to view and explore, along with beautiful architecture, learning centers and an abundant trail system that is just awesome and seems to go on forever! Plus it has a fantastic "Family Adventure Garden" that the kids love, which boasts a super cool lazy creek to splash in on hot days, log cottages to play make-believe in, hedge mazes to navigate, and a stage with accessories to put on a whimsical performance! The garden is currently offering an interesting art installation too, of which I'm always a fan! 

Nature Connects: Art with LEGOS by Sean Kenney

Along with a plethora of other awesome events that are coming up: 

Texas to Table

BOOtanica

Moonlight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Wine Down at the Garden

If you haven't been, you should totally go! And if my remarks above and blatant advertising haven't sold you yet, here are some photos that I took to help seal the deal!